LakeMat Pro vs. MuckMat Pro. What’s the diff?

Here’s the simplest way to say it.

A LakeMat Pro is for getting rid of lake weeds. Just. For. Weeds.

A MuckMat Pro is for both muck and lake weeds. Muck. And. Weeds.

MuckMat Pros hold you up in muck — LakeMat Pros won’t.

You can walk on a LakeMat Pro, you won’t hurt it. But walking on a LakeMat Pro over muck is like walking on half-filled waterbed while you’re drinking… Not that I’d know anything about drinking on waterbeds… I think I read about it once…

Names give us clues about what things do.

The best name for something is to call it what it is. For example, a “door lock” is a thing that locks a door. A “can opener” is a thing that opens cans. “Toothbrush” is great name for a thing that brushes teeth.

Apple named its cell phone the iPhone — not iCamera, or iText Thingy, or iGadget. They call it “iPhone,” ‘cause it’s mostly, a phone… I think.

Years ago, I started a magazine that reviewed music. I called it Music Revue. Then I created a country music magazine. County music is uniquely American. I called it American Country.

You see how this works, right?

So, I invented LakeMats to control lake weeds. “Lake Weed Control Mat” says what it is, but the name was too long. I considered “Lake Weed Mat,” but it sounds clunky and confusing, (Is it a placemat made of lake weeds or something?)

I settled on my wife’s suggestion. “They’re mats for lakes, just call them LakeMats,” she said, which almost says what they do — mats that control lake weeds. It wasn’t a perfect marketing name, but it was close.

I named it MuckMat, because it’s a “mat for muck.”

Then came MuckMat, so people like us won’t sink in our mucky lakes. I named it MuckMat, because it’s a “mat for muck” and also weeds. A year later we developed the frame system we use now. We called the new designs, LakeMat Pro and MuckMat Pro because we thought it sounded cool — five years before Apple thought “iPhone 11 Pro” sounded cool. See, we were cutting edge even back then.

Later, came Boatlift Mats to keep boat lifts from sinking. And then mats for docks named DockMats — and mats for using sand (on shore) to make sandy beaches called SandMats.

You really do see how this works, right?

Still, the number one question I’m asked is, “What’s the difference between LakeMats and MuckMats?”

Maybe I should have worked harder on the names.

Here’s an answer in verse, because rhymes help us remember stuff.

If you just have icky weeds — a LakeMat Pro is all you need.

For weeds and muck, you’re in luck - ‘cause MuckMat Pro will hold you up.

In Math

LakeMat Pro = 0 lake weeds

MuckMat Pro = 0 lake weeds/0 muck

In Soccer Lingo

“MuckMat Pro pummels muck and lake weeds, ten—nil.”

“LakeMat Pro records clean sheets against lake weeds all season.”

Swedes have the Perfect Word for Muck.

Swedish doesn’t have an exact word for muck, but “soft lake bottom” translates: “mjuk sjöbotten,” Spoken aloud, “mjuk” combines “muck” and “yuck.” It’s pronounced “Myuck!” … Isn’t that just PERFECT?!

In Hillbilly-ease (My native tongue and proud of it)

Pronunciation is key to understanding this dialog about LakeMat Pro. So say it out loud.

U C N E lake weeds?

Nope, don’t C N E.

U know Y U can’t C N E lake weeds?

U can’t C N E weeds, 4 I got a LakeMat Pro.

L I L B! U R weed-free!

S, I M — N U can B weed-free 2 — with a LakeMat Pro.*

(Hah! I wonder how the web crawlers will interpret that?)

*Hillbilly-ease Translated into English.

You see any lake weeds?

Nope, don’t see any.